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Posts Tagged ‘Bernardino Garcia-Cordova’

God Gets Arrested Near Church

Posted by shadmia on June 25, 2008

It may surprise you to hear that God got arrested near a church on cocaine charges! Its true, God Lucky Howard, 39, a self-employed mortgage broker, living at 3812 N. Avon Ave., Tampa was arrested. He was charged with one count each of delivery of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing; one count each of delivery of cocaine with intent to sell within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing; and two counts of possession of cocaine.

According to the police report, on April 28th police bought 3.4 grams of cocaine from him at his home. A month later, police served a search warrant on that same address and found a safe in the bedroom closet containing three plastic bags with 22.5 grams of cocaine. They also found a digital scale with cocaine residue.

This was not God’s first offense. In 1995 had pleaded guilty to a similar charge and in 2003 he spent 18 months in state prison, again on a cocaine charge. He is currently held in the Orient Road jail on an $86,500 bail.

Just in case you didn’t know, God Lucky Howard is not the only God in Florida, nor is he even the only God in trouble. There are other Gods in the Florida penal system:

  • Glory of God Cummings of Pensacola
  • God Fearing Philippe of Lakeland
  • None God of Jupiter
  • God Medeiros of New Port Richey
  • God Goldman of Dade County
  • God V. Torres of Dade County and
  • Allahzar God Allah, 62, has been in a Lake County prison for almost a quarter century serving a life sentence for first-degree murder.

God has also been spotted elsewhere. An Illinois judge gave a man named Steve Kreuscher permission to legally change his name to “In God We Trust”. The 57-year-old artist and bus driver said the name grew from his devotion to God……and in his own words:

“There are billions of artists out there. If you don’t do something to stand out in the crowd, the world won’t recognize you.”

This got me to thinking about Jesus Christ. Where can the son of God be found? Well the closest I got was a cocaine drug dealer named Spider who was waiting for Jesus in Dallas:

Drug traffickers in Mexico mixed as much as six pounds of the illicit white powder into a paste and used it to make a regal statue of the Christian savior, complete with painted-on flowing hair and a gold cape. They were hoping that it would not attract the attention of border guards in Laredo….wrong. Drug-sniffing dogs at the border exposed Jesus as nothing but a mixture of cocaine and paste.

“These people will use anything, including religious icons to smuggle their drugs,” said Steven Robertson, a spokesman for the Drug Enforcement Administration, in Washington. “It is sacrilegious.”

The plot quietly began to unfold when the woman who was a passenger in a car driving into the United States said a man told her he had too many things to carry, and would pay her $80 if she’d drop the statue at the Laredo bus station, according to a court document filed.

While trying to enter the United States, Customs and Border Patrol inspectors grew suspicious and checked her out. The woman later said she was unaware the statue was cocaine and took federal agents along for her rendezvous. After being arrested, the man, 61-year-old Bernardino Garcia-Cordova, admitted the statue was his property. Garcia-Cordova, who now faces cocaine importation and possession charges, told investigators a man he knows only by a Spanish nickname, La Araña, or The Spider, told him to take it to Dallas.

Hopefully the Spider has not put too much faith in the coming of Jesus, because it is not going to happen!!

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